I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
