There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
