I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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