that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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