okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
