Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
