I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
