I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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