ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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