i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Farmville is her only friend.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
