Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize