Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
