Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
