I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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