i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
