it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
