Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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