So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
too bad you live with your parents still
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
