do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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