My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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