Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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