It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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