this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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