Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
