i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
