I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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