Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
