your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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