Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
