After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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