the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
