You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
