I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
