Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
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Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night