im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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