you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night