A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.