he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
