I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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