Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
