There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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