I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
