we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
