You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
