Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
