my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just had sex on a roof
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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