Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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