i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
