I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
