I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
