just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
