similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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