Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i've created a new STD.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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