Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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