Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
