My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
