just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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