I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
