I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
