Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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