sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
