there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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