I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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