That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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