I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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