capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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